(no subject)

[crankylex]

Dear Male Job Applicant,

When applying for a job, it would be wise if you chose to list a contact email that didn't have "hard sword" in the username.

Also, your bulging eyes and frantic hand motions suggest that you've been relaxing yourself in the good old fashioned chemical way.

Please fuck off and die.


Not going to employ you,

Lex


***


Dear Jimmy:

Why are you calling me? Why are you showing up at the house? Are you trying to make me lose what's left of my mind? I am NOT your friend. I am your ex. I know you have trouble making the distinction, but YOU LEFT ME.


No love,

the ex girlfriend


***


Dear Sara:

GET A JOB.


No love,

your cousin tired of supporting your unemployed ass


***


Dear Project Manager:

You can't add. I can. This is why I'm in accounting and you're not.

STFU.


Smarter than you,

Lex