lol, eharmony

[crankylex]

So tangofic and I were bitching and moaning about the barrage of eHarmony ads that run on tv now.  As I am well aware of eHarmony's fundamentalist leanings, I never attempted to join. 

In the interests of science, however, I decided to take advantage of their free enrollment process.  After completing the extremely long questionnaire, I was sent to a screen that read:

Unable to Match You at This Time

eHarmony is based upon a complex matching system developed through extensive research with married couples. One of the requirements for successful matching is that participants fall within certain defined profiles. If we find that we will not be able to match a user using these profiles, we feel it is only fair to inform them early in the process.

We are so convinced of the importance of creating compatible matches to help people establish happy, lasting relationships that we sometimes choose not to provide service rather than risk an uncertain match.

Unfortunately, we are not able to make our profiles work for you. Our matching model could not accurately predict with whom you would be best matched. This occurs for about 20% of potential users, so 1 in 5 people simply will not benefit from our service. We hope that you understand, and we regret our inability to provide service for you at this time.

I am doomed.  DOOMED!!

Comments

[kita0610.livejournal.com]

OOOOOH. That's what that other dating service ad is about!! It addresses "all those who were REJECTED on EHarmony." I was like, who the hell gets rejected if they pay???

[spikesleman.livejournal.com]

I'm not the first one to say this, but clearly you need to go to that other company. What's it? Chemistry.com. Something like that. Their whole ad campaign is based on people who were rejected by eHarmony.

[niobedancing.livejournal.com]

OMG. that's crazy! I didn't know it did that.

Don't worry, I wasn't "rejected" but it matched me with a bunch of losers.

The most annoying part? I can now hear their stupid jingle in my head.

[grlnxtr.livejournal.com]

Ok, as a computer programmer, I'm appalled at the thought of a system that doesn't work in 20% of cases.

But then, I'm a geek.

Besides, why would anyone want to be just like 80% of the rest of the world? EHarmony is stupid.