early morning grossness

Dear Monty,

I understand that you sometimes scarf down your food too fast and puke it right back up in a matter of seconds. I have accomodated this by buying special food tailored to your needs, and also purchasing rugs that match the color of the food, so that the stains are barely visible.

I will never be able to accomodate you puking on my sleeping, defenseless body.

Never, do you hear me?

NOT EVER.

And to add insult to injury, I just changed those sheets on Sunday night.

No love at all,

Mom