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burningeden:
1. Are you an innie or an outie?
Innie.
2. Have you ever worn bell-bottoms?
Willingly, no. As a child, when I had no control over my clothing choice, yes.
3. Have you ever written a song?
Nope.
4. Can you make change for a dollar right now?
Yep.
5. Have you ever been in the opposite sex's public toilet?
Hell, yeah. Have you seen some of the lines for the women's room?
6. Have you ever smelled your own feet?
I can't remember doing so willingly, but yes, I imagine I have.
7. Do you like catsup on or beside your fries?
I tend to not use KETCHUP on my fries. It interferes with the fried potato-y ness of it.
8. Can you touch your tongue to your nose?
Wait, let me check. Nope, I can't.
9. Have you ever been a boy/girl scout?
I was in fact a girl scout.
10. Have you ever broken a mirror?
Yep.
11. Have you ever put your tongue on a frozen pole?
No. However, I have kissed a cold polecat.
12. What is your biggest pet peeve?
Stupid people. Stupid people should be forced to wear signs identifying them as such so the rest of us can avoid them.
13. Do you slurp your drink after it's gone?
Depends on what it is. If it's Diet Dr. Pepper, not only am I slurping, I'm licking the inside of the cup.
14. Have you ever blown bubbles in your milk?
Hasn't everyone?
15. Would you rather eat a Big Mac or a Whopper?
Bring on the Whopper.
16. Have you ever gone skinny-dipping?
Yes, and gotten sand in unmentionable places.
17. When you are at the grocery store, do you ask for paper or plastic?
Plastic, because then I use them for other things. Like throwing out cat litter.
18. True or False: You would rather eat steak than pizza.
True. Beef. It's what's for dinner.
19. Did you have a baby blanket?
Nope. Actually, come to think of it, that explains a lot about my childhood.
20. Have you ever tried to cut your own hair?
No. I have tried to cut the hair of others, though.
21. Have you ever sleepwalked?
Not to my knowledge.
22. Have you ever had a birthday party at McDonalds?
Not to my knowledge.
23. Can you flip your eye-lids up?
I have never attempted this, nor will I now.
24. Are you double jointed?
No, but I can dislocate my joints at will. Does that count?
25. If you could be any age, what age would you be?
Any age but 13-17. I wouldn't live my jr. high/high school years again if you PAID ME.
26. Have you ever gotten gum stuck in your hair?
I was forever getting gum stuck in my hair as a kid.
27. Have you ever thrown up after a roller coaster ride?
No, I don't get motion sickness.
28. What is your dream car?
The purple Honda I'm driving now.
29. What is your favorite cartoon of all time?
As a child, Scooby Doo. As an adult, Gargoyles.
30. Would you go swimming in shallow waters where, one year earlier, a shark had attacked a child?
I don't swim in the ocean. Not because I'm afraid of sharks, but because sand goes with the ocean, and I have an unholy loathing of sand.
Hey! Where did 31 go!
32. Have you ever eaten a dog biscuit?
Sure. Some brands are actually pretty damn good.
33. If you were in a car sinking in a lake, what would you do first?
In my car? Take a deep breath and climb out the moonroof.
34. Have you ever ridden in an ambulance?
Yep. I even used to do so professionally.
35. Can you pick something up with your toes?
I can pick things up with my toes, I can peel a banana with my toes...although what prompted me to figure that out, I will never know.
36. How many remote controls do you have in your house?
Nine. Unless I'm forgetting one or two.
37. Have you ever fallen asleep in school?
My god. I had algebra for first period one year in high school, and bless that guy's heart, but I fell asleep every single class.
38. How many times have you flown in an airplane in the last year?
Four.
39. How many foreign countries have you visited?
One. Texas. And anyone who tries to tell me it isn't a foreign country is FULL OF SHIT. ::grin::
40. If you were out of shape, would you compete in a triathlon if you were somehow guaranteed to win a big, gaudy medal?
That would involve sweating, and I don't do that.
41. Would you rather be rich and unhappy, or poor and happy?
I have more practice being broke, so poor and happy.
42. If you fell into quicksand, would you try to swim or try to float?
Quicksand is actually more buoyant than water, so I would just float.
44. Do you ask for directions when you are lost?
I rarely get lost. Unlike certain other people who may or may not live in California.
45. Have you ever had a Mexican jumping bean?
Nope.
46. Are you more like Cinderella or Alice in Wonderland?
Right now, I'm the Ugly Stepsister.
47. Would you rather have an ant farm with no ants or a box of crayons with broken points?
Who the fuck comes up with these questions? Crayons, I guess.
48. Do you prefer light or dark bread?
Any bread is good bread.
49. Do you prefer scrambled or fried eggs?
I am all about fried food.
50. Have you ever been in a car that ran out of gas?
More times than I can count, unfortunately. My cousin used to run out of gas at least once a month.
51. Do you talk in your sleep?
I have whole conversations with people while I am asleep.
52. Would you rather shovel snow or mow the lawn?
Neither. I pay people to do both.
53. Would you rather be bitten by a poisonous snake or constricted by a python?
Whichever way would be faster.
54. Have you ever played in the rain?
Yep.
55. Which of these do you think is more dangerous: an angry bear or a hungry white shark?
They're probably both equally dangerous, but I'll take my chances with the bear.
56. Would you climb a very high tree to save a kitten?
Cats are my life, and I would throw myself in front of a moving vehicle to save one. However, I am terrified of heights, so I would have to pay some one to go save the cat in the tree.
57. Can you tell the difference between a crocodile and an alligator?
Yes. It's all in the shape of the snout. Alligators have a more rounded snout, while crocs have a more pointed one. And really, is anyone surprised I know this?
58. Do you drink pepsi or coke?
Diet Dr. Pepper or nothing at all.
59. What's your favorite number?
I don't have one.
60. If you were a car, would you be an SUV or a sports car?
I'd be something sturdy and useful, like a Volvo.
61. Have you ever accidentally taken something from a hotel?
Accidentally, no. On purpose, yes.
62. Would you blow your nose at the dinner table?
God, that is GROSS. No.
63. Have you ever slipped in the bathtub?
Yes. Sometimes I even had help. (Thank you, Adam.)
64. Do you use regular or deodorant soap?
Deodorant soap. Dial. The vitamin one.
65. Have you ever locked yourself out of the house?
Yes.
66. Would you rather make your living as a singing cowboy or as one of the Simpsons voices?
I couldn't carry a tune in a bucket.
67. If you could invite any movie star to your home for dinner, who would it be?
Gillian Anderson. MROWR.
68. Have you ever gotten a truck driver to honk his horn?
It's amazing what happens if you take your top off in a moving vehicle.
69. Which would you rather live with: a huge nose or crossed eyes?
Huge nose, at least you could have that fixed.
70. Would you hang out with someone your best friend didn't like?
Not only would I, but I actually do.
71. Would you hang out with someone your best friend liked, but you didn't like?
I try to avoid situations like that. But sometimes they are unavoidable, and I suffer through them.
72. Have you ever returned a gift?
Yep.
73. Would you give someone else a gift that had been given to you?
If I knew they would appreciate it more than I would.
74. If you could attend an Olympic Event, what would it be?
The track and field events. At least there I know what's going on.
75. How many pairs of shoes do you own?
Maybe 25?
76. If your grandmother gave you a gift that you already have, would you tell her?
Of course not. But my grandmother gives the kind of gift that keeps on giving...cash.
77. Do you sing in the car?
Loudly and rather badly, yes.
78. Would you rather jump into a dumpster or into a vat of honey?
I've jumped into a dumpster before, and I can only imagine honey would be the better deal.
79. What is your favorite breed of dog?
American Bull Terrior, aka the pit bull.
80. Would you donate money to feed starving animals in the winter?
I do, yes.
81. If you were a bicycle, would you be a stingray or a mountain bike?
I would never be a bicycle.
82. What is your least favorite fruit?
Honeydew melon.
83. What kind of fruit have you never had?
I'm a big fan of fruit, actually. I can't think of one that I haven't had, at least ones that are sold on the east coast.
84. If you won a $5,000 shopping spree to any store, which store would you pick?
amazon.com.
85. What brand sports apparel do you wear the most?
Um, Target brand?
86. Are/were you a good student?
Yes. Fat lot of good it did me, too.
87. Among your friends, who could you arm wrestle and beat?
Most of them.
88. If you had to choose, what branch of the military would you be in?
I am the only one I know that is fucking crazy enough to be a Marine.
89. Would you ever parachute out of a plane?
Not unless the other choice was 'death'.
90. What do you think is your best feature?
My giant tits. Heeee. My hair is okay. My eyes are okay. My legs are okay.
91. If you were to win a grammy, what kind of music would it be for?
I am SO not musically inclined.
92. What is your favorite season?
Fall. Not too hot, not too cold.
93. How many members do you have in your immediate family?
There are about ten people that I consider my 'immediate family'. Technically, however, there are only three.
94. Which of the five senses is most important to you?
My sense of taste.
95. Would you be a more successful painter or singer?
Neither. I'd be broke, begging on the corner.
96. How many years will/did you end up going to college?
I went for a few years, on and off.
97. Have you ever had surgery?
Yep.
98. Would you rather be a professional figure skater or professional football player?
Football. I have a lot of pent up rage.
99. What do you like to collect?
Pets.
burningeden:1. Are you an innie or an outie?
Innie.
2. Have you ever worn bell-bottoms?
Willingly, no. As a child, when I had no control over my clothing choice, yes.
3. Have you ever written a song?
Nope.
4. Can you make change for a dollar right now?
Yep.
5. Have you ever been in the opposite sex's public toilet?
Hell, yeah. Have you seen some of the lines for the women's room?
6. Have you ever smelled your own feet?
I can't remember doing so willingly, but yes, I imagine I have.
7. Do you like catsup on or beside your fries?
I tend to not use KETCHUP on my fries. It interferes with the fried potato-y ness of it.
8. Can you touch your tongue to your nose?
Wait, let me check. Nope, I can't.
9. Have you ever been a boy/girl scout?
I was in fact a girl scout.
10. Have you ever broken a mirror?
Yep.
11. Have you ever put your tongue on a frozen pole?
No. However, I have kissed a cold polecat.
12. What is your biggest pet peeve?
Stupid people. Stupid people should be forced to wear signs identifying them as such so the rest of us can avoid them.
13. Do you slurp your drink after it's gone?
Depends on what it is. If it's Diet Dr. Pepper, not only am I slurping, I'm licking the inside of the cup.
14. Have you ever blown bubbles in your milk?
Hasn't everyone?
15. Would you rather eat a Big Mac or a Whopper?
Bring on the Whopper.
16. Have you ever gone skinny-dipping?
Yes, and gotten sand in unmentionable places.
17. When you are at the grocery store, do you ask for paper or plastic?
Plastic, because then I use them for other things. Like throwing out cat litter.
18. True or False: You would rather eat steak than pizza.
True. Beef. It's what's for dinner.
19. Did you have a baby blanket?
Nope. Actually, come to think of it, that explains a lot about my childhood.
20. Have you ever tried to cut your own hair?
No. I have tried to cut the hair of others, though.
21. Have you ever sleepwalked?
Not to my knowledge.
22. Have you ever had a birthday party at McDonalds?
Not to my knowledge.
23. Can you flip your eye-lids up?
I have never attempted this, nor will I now.
24. Are you double jointed?
No, but I can dislocate my joints at will. Does that count?
25. If you could be any age, what age would you be?
Any age but 13-17. I wouldn't live my jr. high/high school years again if you PAID ME.
26. Have you ever gotten gum stuck in your hair?
I was forever getting gum stuck in my hair as a kid.
27. Have you ever thrown up after a roller coaster ride?
No, I don't get motion sickness.
28. What is your dream car?
The purple Honda I'm driving now.
29. What is your favorite cartoon of all time?
As a child, Scooby Doo. As an adult, Gargoyles.
30. Would you go swimming in shallow waters where, one year earlier, a shark had attacked a child?
I don't swim in the ocean. Not because I'm afraid of sharks, but because sand goes with the ocean, and I have an unholy loathing of sand.
Hey! Where did 31 go!
32. Have you ever eaten a dog biscuit?
Sure. Some brands are actually pretty damn good.
33. If you were in a car sinking in a lake, what would you do first?
In my car? Take a deep breath and climb out the moonroof.
34. Have you ever ridden in an ambulance?
Yep. I even used to do so professionally.
35. Can you pick something up with your toes?
I can pick things up with my toes, I can peel a banana with my toes...although what prompted me to figure that out, I will never know.
36. How many remote controls do you have in your house?
Nine. Unless I'm forgetting one or two.
37. Have you ever fallen asleep in school?
My god. I had algebra for first period one year in high school, and bless that guy's heart, but I fell asleep every single class.
38. How many times have you flown in an airplane in the last year?
Four.
39. How many foreign countries have you visited?
One. Texas. And anyone who tries to tell me it isn't a foreign country is FULL OF SHIT. ::grin::
40. If you were out of shape, would you compete in a triathlon if you were somehow guaranteed to win a big, gaudy medal?
That would involve sweating, and I don't do that.
41. Would you rather be rich and unhappy, or poor and happy?
I have more practice being broke, so poor and happy.
42. If you fell into quicksand, would you try to swim or try to float?
Quicksand is actually more buoyant than water, so I would just float.
44. Do you ask for directions when you are lost?
I rarely get lost. Unlike certain other people who may or may not live in California.
45. Have you ever had a Mexican jumping bean?
Nope.
46. Are you more like Cinderella or Alice in Wonderland?
Right now, I'm the Ugly Stepsister.
47. Would you rather have an ant farm with no ants or a box of crayons with broken points?
Who the fuck comes up with these questions? Crayons, I guess.
48. Do you prefer light or dark bread?
Any bread is good bread.
49. Do you prefer scrambled or fried eggs?
I am all about fried food.
50. Have you ever been in a car that ran out of gas?
More times than I can count, unfortunately. My cousin used to run out of gas at least once a month.
51. Do you talk in your sleep?
I have whole conversations with people while I am asleep.
52. Would you rather shovel snow or mow the lawn?
Neither. I pay people to do both.
53. Would you rather be bitten by a poisonous snake or constricted by a python?
Whichever way would be faster.
54. Have you ever played in the rain?
Yep.
55. Which of these do you think is more dangerous: an angry bear or a hungry white shark?
They're probably both equally dangerous, but I'll take my chances with the bear.
56. Would you climb a very high tree to save a kitten?
Cats are my life, and I would throw myself in front of a moving vehicle to save one. However, I am terrified of heights, so I would have to pay some one to go save the cat in the tree.
57. Can you tell the difference between a crocodile and an alligator?
Yes. It's all in the shape of the snout. Alligators have a more rounded snout, while crocs have a more pointed one. And really, is anyone surprised I know this?
58. Do you drink pepsi or coke?
Diet Dr. Pepper or nothing at all.
59. What's your favorite number?
I don't have one.
60. If you were a car, would you be an SUV or a sports car?
I'd be something sturdy and useful, like a Volvo.
61. Have you ever accidentally taken something from a hotel?
Accidentally, no. On purpose, yes.
62. Would you blow your nose at the dinner table?
God, that is GROSS. No.
63. Have you ever slipped in the bathtub?
Yes. Sometimes I even had help. (Thank you, Adam.)
64. Do you use regular or deodorant soap?
Deodorant soap. Dial. The vitamin one.
65. Have you ever locked yourself out of the house?
Yes.
66. Would you rather make your living as a singing cowboy or as one of the Simpsons voices?
I couldn't carry a tune in a bucket.
67. If you could invite any movie star to your home for dinner, who would it be?
Gillian Anderson. MROWR.
68. Have you ever gotten a truck driver to honk his horn?
It's amazing what happens if you take your top off in a moving vehicle.
69. Which would you rather live with: a huge nose or crossed eyes?
Huge nose, at least you could have that fixed.
70. Would you hang out with someone your best friend didn't like?
Not only would I, but I actually do.
71. Would you hang out with someone your best friend liked, but you didn't like?
I try to avoid situations like that. But sometimes they are unavoidable, and I suffer through them.
72. Have you ever returned a gift?
Yep.
73. Would you give someone else a gift that had been given to you?
If I knew they would appreciate it more than I would.
74. If you could attend an Olympic Event, what would it be?
The track and field events. At least there I know what's going on.
75. How many pairs of shoes do you own?
Maybe 25?
76. If your grandmother gave you a gift that you already have, would you tell her?
Of course not. But my grandmother gives the kind of gift that keeps on giving...cash.
77. Do you sing in the car?
Loudly and rather badly, yes.
78. Would you rather jump into a dumpster or into a vat of honey?
I've jumped into a dumpster before, and I can only imagine honey would be the better deal.
79. What is your favorite breed of dog?
American Bull Terrior, aka the pit bull.
80. Would you donate money to feed starving animals in the winter?
I do, yes.
81. If you were a bicycle, would you be a stingray or a mountain bike?
I would never be a bicycle.
82. What is your least favorite fruit?
Honeydew melon.
83. What kind of fruit have you never had?
I'm a big fan of fruit, actually. I can't think of one that I haven't had, at least ones that are sold on the east coast.
84. If you won a $5,000 shopping spree to any store, which store would you pick?
amazon.com.
85. What brand sports apparel do you wear the most?
Um, Target brand?
86. Are/were you a good student?
Yes. Fat lot of good it did me, too.
87. Among your friends, who could you arm wrestle and beat?
Most of them.
88. If you had to choose, what branch of the military would you be in?
I am the only one I know that is fucking crazy enough to be a Marine.
89. Would you ever parachute out of a plane?
Not unless the other choice was 'death'.
90. What do you think is your best feature?
My giant tits. Heeee. My hair is okay. My eyes are okay. My legs are okay.
91. If you were to win a grammy, what kind of music would it be for?
I am SO not musically inclined.
92. What is your favorite season?
Fall. Not too hot, not too cold.
93. How many members do you have in your immediate family?
There are about ten people that I consider my 'immediate family'. Technically, however, there are only three.
94. Which of the five senses is most important to you?
My sense of taste.
95. Would you be a more successful painter or singer?
Neither. I'd be broke, begging on the corner.
96. How many years will/did you end up going to college?
I went for a few years, on and off.
97. Have you ever had surgery?
Yep.
98. Would you rather be a professional figure skater or professional football player?
Football. I have a lot of pent up rage.
99. What do you like to collect?
Pets.
