(no subject)

[crankylex]

Dear Lord,

I could almost forgive you for the whole Jimmy leaving me thing if you would prevent Damien from wiping his ass all over my new living room.

Thanks ever so much,

Lex

***

Dear Damien,

You know, I hear the pound is nice this time of year.

No love at all,

your mother

***

Dear makers of plastic bags,

Please stop using whatever it is that attracts cats in the making of your products. I do not appreciate having to pull plastic bag remnants out of cat asses.

Cordially,

Lex

***

Dear Xanax Fairy,

I've been good. I have. I've been through a lot in the last year. Please come and visit me. I need you. Very badly. I'll even leave a few Lexapro under the pillow for you.

Desperately,

Lex

Comments

[eleniangel.livejournal.com]

*hugs lots* cuz I can

One of my cats has discovered a love of string. It's a sad, slightly funny process. Almost as much as when the dog bit a toad.

[ladyvixen.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I do so love your letters.

I'm glad my kitties have not figured out that they can actually consume the plastic.

SNURT

[burningeden.livejournal.com]

Good god, can you put a "snurt" warning?

I just snurted Diet Sprite out my nose reading that!

Just you wait ... when you come here for Dragon*Con, I will give you a drink, then gouge you in the ribs and make YOU snurt it.

HUGS for the cat trauma. You're a better woman than me ... I vomit just THINKING about feces.

Re: SNURT

[crankylex.livejournal.com]

Are you on AIM?

Just so you know...

[(Anonymous)]

I fully blame you Lex for me falling off my chair and getting a goose egg the size of a softball on my forehead because I was laughing so hard just after reading the letter to the plastic bag makers. I have got to remember to get a computer chair with arm rests before reading you live journal again! I should know by now. Poor kitty! Even poorer Lex!
Lindzy

[crankylex.livejournal.com]

I cannot imagine the carnage involved in a dog vs. toad assault.

[crankylex.livejournal.com]

Pray that they do not, else you will find yourself assuming the position with a wet paper towel in hand.

;->

Re: Just so you know...

[crankylex.livejournal.com]

I cannot be held responsible for any injuries obtained due to the contents of my lj.

::grin::

Plastic bags + cats = bad times. That's all I'm saying. :-)