(no subject)

[crankylex]

THINGS I LEARNED FROM READING ROMANCE NOVELS:

1. Avoid elevators during the full moon lest you be trapped with a horny shape-shifter.
   
2. The naked and well-hung alien in your backyard is the leader of his people. He will never be the gardener of his people, or the janitor, because only nobility gets lost in space.
   
3. If your boyfriend is hairy all the time and craves raw meat, chances are he's got a little something extra in the old DNA.
   
4. There is a distant galaxy populated by nothing but incredibly hot men with giant cocks.
   
5. There is an ex-SEAL under every bush.
   
6. All aliens are essentially humanoid, with compatible sex organs.
   
7. The incredibly hot man always has a bunch of incredibly hot brothers. There are never any ugly brothers; they are drowned at birth.
   
8. Throughout the galaxy, mothers are the same. All they want for you to do is get married and have children, and nothing will get in their way.
   
9. No one ever has bad sex. No one ever gets a back cramp, or a leg cramp, or makes any kind of unattractive bodily noise.
   
10. Virgins get all the incredible lovers. Bitches.

...to be continued...

Comments

[andramichelle.livejournal.com]

Hey Lex! I'm glad to see you posting again :)

[crankylex.livejournal.com]

Check the mail at the end of the week. ;-)

[andramichelle.livejournal.com]

I've been checking the mail but I haven't seen anything yet. What am I looking for? :)

[spikesleman.livejournal.com]

Yeah, what andramichelle said!

Oh, and this is very funny, too!

[crankylex.livejournal.com]

Thanks! ;-)

[burningeden.livejournal.com]

There you are!

Very funny. I snorted my morning decaf the wrong way.

[crankylex.livejournal.com]

Nothing like caffeine coming out the nose to wake you up.

[meinnim.livejournal.com]

Hey, Lex!

Hee on #7. I just looked at my colelction and the first book I saw was part of a Nora Roberts series -- four incredibly hot and talented brothers. Not an ugly or untalented one in the lot. *g*

[crankylex.livejournal.com]

There was one. Seymour. Drowned at birth. LOL.

[margotlefaye.livejournal.com]

RAOTFLMAO! Too, too true. And I'm thrilled that your list will be continued.

[crankylex.livejournal.com]

I've been reading a lot of e-books, and it's driven home some of the much beloved cliches.

[gia6seconds.livejournal.com]

Hee... this is hysterical.
#2 killed me - because yes, it always is the prince/king/leader/he-man and #9... *bwah* I love it.

So very, very true, even if not space related and simply historical.

[crankylex.livejournal.com]

I want there to be a book where the alien in the back yard is average looking, okay in bed, and is the palace security guard.

LOL.

But then no one would read it.

[markeyisapunk.livejournal.com]

having now read all three posts related to romance novels and higher learning, I am wondering what happened to all the pirates and forced marriages?