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[crankylex]

THINGS I LEARNED FROM READING ROMANCE NOVELS:

1. Avoid elevators during the full moon lest you be trapped with a horny shape-shifter.
   
2. The naked and well-hung alien in your backyard is the leader of his people. He will never be the gardener of his people, or the janitor, because only nobility gets lost in space.
   
3. If your boyfriend is hairy all the time and craves raw meat, chances are he's got a little something extra in the old DNA.
   
4. There is a distant galaxy populated by nothing but incredibly hot men with giant cocks.
   
5. There is an ex-SEAL under every bush.
   
6. All aliens are essentially humanoid, with compatible sex organs.
   
7. The incredibly hot man always has a bunch of incredibly hot brothers. There are never any ugly brothers; they are drowned at birth.
   
8. Throughout the galaxy, mothers are the same. All they want for you to do is get married and have children, and nothing will get in their way.
   
9. No one ever has bad sex. No one ever gets a back cramp, or a leg cramp, or makes any kind of unattractive bodily noise.
   
10. Virgins get all the incredible lovers. Bitches.

...to be continued...

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[andramichelle.livejournal.com]

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