(no subject)

[crankylex]

MORE THINGS I LEARNED FROM READING ROMANCE NOVELS:

11. Beware of the incredibly hot alien man with the incredibly hot alien brothers. Chances are, when one claims you, there is some mystic alien law that says they all claim you.
    
12. Even if you don't think so, there are always enough orifices to go around.
    
13. If you are socially awkward and considered only marginally attractive, there is a barbarian waiting in the wings to club you over the head and drag you back to his love cave nest.
    
14. All woman kidnapped to live in male-dominated warrior societies immediately accept their new lives as sex toys/homemakers/mothers without freaking the fuck out.
    
15. The most romantic gesture a man can make is getting rid of his harem of oral sex providers.
    
16. Infertility is non-existant. In fact, you will be lucky to escape your first sexual encounter without becoming pregnant immediately.
    
17. Soulmates fall out of the sky. Literally.
    
18. Sacred callings are really great ways to find hot dates.
    
19. Hermaphrodites rock!
    
20. Also, beware men who want to marry you after you've known them for a half hour. I'm just sayin.
    

The first list is here.

And there is undoubtedly more to come. ;-)

Comments

[burningeden.livejournal.com]

a) I love Keith Urban and that song is my current ringtone.

B) Can I have your library? Because damn. All I've learned from reading trashy romance is that "cease your caterwauling, you saucy wench" is apparently an endearment.

[crankylex.livejournal.com]

I have about 250 ebooks that I've read over the past three months. It's given me wonderful fodder. ::grin::

Also, that icon hurts me.

[burningeden.livejournal.com]

I need to get some ebooks then.

Why does my icon hurt you? :) I think it's too funny and very appropriate for this topic. :)

[crankylex.livejournal.com]

I spent far, far too much time watching it. I've come to the conclusion that the male caterpillar is missing a set of arms.

[andramichelle.livejournal.com]

LOL...loved the list. Thanks for sharing it and I hope all is well with you!

[crankylex.livejournal.com]

I'm hanging in. I took next week off, but didn't tell anyone in my family. That way it can be a real vacation. :->

[smithereen.livejournal.com]

Even if you don't think so, there are always enough orifices to go around.

AH HA HA! That's awesome. And so true.

[crankylex.livejournal.com]

Dude, I crack myself up sometimes.

But really. It's true. You figure M/M/M/F is doable, every has a warm cozy spot, but when it becomes M/M/M/M/F that you have to really become creative.

[pyrifera.livejournal.com]

Uhm...2 x 2, carry the 2... But, feeling dense here, in this scenario, isn't another M just another link in the, uh, "chain?" Now if you added an F, then...well, yea, that'd close the loop, so to speak, right?

Can't believe I'm giving this subject this much thought. ;-)

[crankylex.livejournal.com]

No, this particular comment is from a strictly het perspective. Hell, from a pansexual perspective, there's always more than enough to go around!!!! :-)

Sadly, there are few writers that cross boundaries, so to speak -- they're either a het writer or a slash one.

Heck, if there are all those people in a room and they're all trying to have sex with only one person, that's sad. The world is your, uh, oyster, people.

[pyrifera.livejournal.com]

No, this particular comment is from a strictly het perspective.

Oh! Heh, I get it. Yea, ::is dense::

Heck, if there are all those people in a room and they're all trying to have sex with only one person, that's sad.

Yes, I've read one or two where the entire guard waits its turn for the next free armpit, or whatever. *G*

[crankylex.livejournal.com]

ROTFLMAO.

That mental image will be burned onto the back of my retinas for days to come.

[tiarrajanae.livejournal.com]

LMFAO! What kind of romance novels are you reading, because I've got to check these out?!

[crankylex.livejournal.com]

In the past three months or so, I've read about 250 ebooks, mainly from Ellora's Cave and Loose ID.

It's like paranormal crack.

omg

[pyrifera.livejournal.com]

I missed the first list but have now choked up a large mouthful of diet coke, through my nose and onto my keyboard. Ta' very much. ;-)

The naked and well-hung alien in your backyard is the leader of his people. He will never be the gardener of his people, or the janitor, because only nobility gets lost in space.

Will now proceed to try very, very hard not to piss myself laughing.

Btw, uhm...which book is this from: Beware of the incredibly hot alien man with the incredibly hot alien brothers. Chances are, when one claims you, there is some mystic alien law that says they all claim you.

Sounds fun! ;-)

Re: omg

[crankylex.livejournal.com]

My new thing is e-books. Specifically, paranormal erotic romance. Yeah, that's a mouthful (no pun intended!), huh?

I've read about 250 of them over the last three months, and I've encountered new and exciting scenarios ignored by the print publishers. I heart e-publishers.

This whole claiming by all the brothers thing has shown up in more than a few books, which leads me to believe it's a fairly common fantasy.

I learn something new every day.